Leprechaun Apologetics

I've spent a lot of time debating Christians and it occurs to me that no Christian could take his own apologetics seriously if those apologetics were actually used on him. If a Christian had to somehow debate a worshiper of Odin, Raamtha or.. oh... Leprechauns - would he give the same weight to Christian style apologetics as when he uses them against an atheist? Let's indulge in some storytelling. "You atheists are SO arrogant!" Thomas, a Baptist Minister, is minding his own business when he is accosted by an Irish Leprechaun worshiper by the name of Angus McIvy. "Have you paid reverence to the Leprechauns of the Hill?" Thomas doesn't debate the existence of Leprechauns for a second. Leprechauns, fairies, elves, trolls all belong to a class of creature known as 'fanciful, magical, invisible people' and as such share the same attribute of being imaginary. "Leprechauns don't exist." Thomas blurts in a voice laced with impatience and arrogance. (This is the arrogance many Christians see when debating atheists. Atheists sometimes feel put upon that they are debating worshipers of a 7,000 year old tribal god in the information age! And, oh, by the way, Jehovah is also a fanciful, magical, invisible being.)

Proving a Negative
Angus comes back at Thomas with a standard Christian apologetic. "Oh yeah, well prove that Leprechauns DON'T exist!" (This is the illegitimate "proving a negative" argument and it is every bit as impossible for Thomas to prove that Leprechauns don't exist as it is for an atheist to prove that Jehovah doesn't exist. Thomas doesn't suddenly open his eyes and realilze the validity of Leprechauns, instead he simply dismisses this ridiculous argument and says.) "Look, you say Leprechauns exist - YOU prove they exist!"

Proof from Design
"Well look around you! Look at the trees and lakes and waterfalls! The amazing, irreducible complexity of the world about you proves that Leprechauns must be behind it all." Thomas is amazed that Angus can make this leap. "Look Angus, I believe that Jehovah created the Earth. The Muslims say it was Allah, the Hindus say Vishnu and there are any one of ten thousand other religions that will claim that their god did it - how can you possibly make the leap from design to Leprechauns?" (I believe that attempting to prove design is pointless. Should you manage to somehow prove design; all you have done is proven that maybe one of Earth's 10,000 religions may've been right. Maybe not - maybe there IS design and yet it has nothing whatsoever to do with any of Earth's religions or maybe it is just natural forces. The point here is that design doesn't automatically prove the existence of the Hebrew tribal god, Jehovah anymore than it proves the existence of Leprechauns.)

Circular Argument One
Angus is ready for this challenge and declares simply "Leprechaunism is the correct religion because it was made by the real beings who made the universe and not by men. The other religions were made by the people who were made by the Leprechauns. Surely if the creatures that created the universe wrote a sacred text - I would listen!" Thomas is stunned by this vapid response; "That's not an argument - all you did was state a bunch of unsupported opinion at me. What if I said that Jehovah made the universe and your religion was manmade?" Angus laughs; "What a stupid argument! Jehovah doesn't exist! Have fun in the pits of Drass with your Jehovah! HAHAHAH!" Thomas shakes his head and stoically carries on; "What other arguments do you have?" (This incredibly STUPID argument, if it can be called that, has been used on me countless times! Usually if a Christian is so deluded as to use this argument - we will not make it to "Circular Argument Two" and simply stay here.)

Circular Argument Two
At this point Angus pulls out a large book and shoves it under Thomas' nose. "Look sir, according to 'The Holy Shamrock' Leprechauns created the earth." Angus crows. "Well, how do you know that 'The Shamrock' is correct?" Thomas asks. "Because it says so right here: Dudly 14:3; 'For the holy green words have been breathed from the mouths of Leprechauns and are never false.'" (This is called a '"Circular Argument" and one that I have unfortunately encountered too many times. A Christian will argue that Jesus must be the Son of God because it says so in the scriptures and then argue that the scriptures are correct because the scriptures say so. Well obviously if you do not believe that Jesus was the Son of God then you certainly don't believe in the validity of the Holy Texts written about him no matter what they say about themselves. No Christian believes that Joseph Smith had X-Ray vision no matter what "The Book of Mormon" says about him or itself.)

Circular Argument Three
"Well other than what the book says about itself, why do you believe in 'The Holy Shamrock'?" Thomas replies. "Ah." Angus starts, "The Shamrock is the only Book to declare the Doctrine of Luck, no others have that. The Shamrock is the only Book to speak of the molding of the perfect man out of Holy Gold. The Shamrock alone gives men the hope of boundless treasure in a green afterlife and The Shamrock alone declares men in poverty and constantly searching for the Rainbow of tranquility." (What Angus has done here is use his religion to prove that his religion is right. As ridiculous as this sounds I have run into this argument time and time again. Christianity is the only religion with the Propitiatory Sacrifice, Virgin Birth, Forgiveness of sins, crucifixion... whatever. Of course every religion can claim that its tenets are crucial and unique but this does not validate the religion.)

500 Witnesses
"What about this?" Angus reads from 'The Shamrock'; "Shay 2:3 'And 50,000 witnesses did watch as the Leprechauns built the Town of Dublin.' How can you dispute the testimony of 50,000 witnesses?" Now that it is used on him Thomas is a little embarrassed that he ever used the '500 witness' argument. "Those witnesses are just words in a story - they never existed! There are witnesses in all sorts of myths, religions and fictions and they are all just part of the text." (Honestly - are we supposed to believe in Goldilocks because three talking bears witnessed her? The same people who give credibility to the '500 witness' argument would not for a second believe that Mohammed split the moon even though the entire city of Mecca 'witnessed' it.)

Argument of Experience or Faith
Angus sees that Thomas is not impressed. "I suppose you just don't understand since you've never felt the love and grace given unto you by Leprechauns." Thomas is somewhat offended "So what you're saying is that your religious experience is valid yet my 'born again' experience is not?" (Every adherent of every religion has a 'religious experience' and is absolutely certain that his religion is correct! Muslim suicide bombers, Georgia Snake Handlers, Heaven's Gate disciples and the shaking, writhing adherents of Santeria all are absolutely certain in the truth of their religion. These people have religious experiences that are equally valid to any Christian's experience and yet they believe in different doctrines and gods. Religious exhuberence, faith and conviction - universal among all religious devotees - either proves that all religions and superstitions are correct or proves nothing.)

2nd to the Last Argument - Biblical threat or insult.
No wonder it says "Eli 6:11: Yeah the unbelievers will be blinded so that they cannot see the power of the Leprechauns! No sign will be given them and they will live in their own deprecations and filth until the day when the Great Leprechaun takes them away to serve in the gold mines as slaves forever!" Thomas shakes his head remembering similar Bible passages. "Look, no conartist, fraud or hoax likes skeptics and will always threaten them with death - have you ever read a chainletter? Truth is backed with evidence and argument. Hoaxes and frauds are always backed with threats of death." (I know at this point that the Christian is done arguing and is falling into the safety of his scriptures. He has no intention of proving the validity of his belief - he is simply right and I will be burning in the hell prepared for those that think for themselves.)

Last Argument - Personal threat or insult.
"Oh yeah well when you die and you are finally placed before the GREAT LEPRECHAUN what will you say then?! WHAT WILL YOU SAY THEN!" with this Angus stomps off leaving a very nonintimidated Baptist ready to go about his daily routine. (Almost always a Christian will end his tirade with "Well that's all very clever but WHAT will you say in front of the Judgment Seat of Christ?" The Christian is so set in his belief that he cannot even begin to accept the possibility that he's been worshiping a 7,000 year old mythological tribal god and a 1st century cult leader his whole life. He sees debate as a necessary evil but truly questioning these mythologies is a very real sin in his eyes.)

Angus has no real, valid arguments here. His arguments are simply rationalizations trying to ratchet up his irrational beliefs in some ancient superstitions. A Christian would laugh at any of these arguments made by Angus but how would they be any different than any argument a Christian would make to an atheist?

Redirects:
Angus can't argue that the most powerful, influential country is mostly Leprechaun worshipers.
No, but an Ephesian woman living during the Roman Empire could certainly say that about Jupiter worship as could a Gizan boy say the same about Osiris during the heyday of Egypt. Just because the most powerful country or the largest number of adherents believe in something doesn't make it right.

No one was martyred over Leprechaun worship.
Maybe. Maybe not. There are martyrs for virtually every religious and superstitious belief ranging from "The Branch Davidians" to Muslims to Sikhs to Mormons. Just because people are williing to die for a belief doesn't make it right. It just shows how powerful an intoxicant religion can be.

Angus can't say that most people believe in Leprechauns.
No, but if this story happened in 12th century Ireland than he could truthfully say that everyone in his known world believes in Leprechauns. This doesn't make Leprechauns real - it just shows that people are superstitious and quick to believe fanciful, magical stories.

The only halfway logical argument a Christian can make is the argument of fulfilled Old Testament prophecies in the New Testament. If this was actually true than it would be some pretty powerful evidence. Unfortunately none of the Old Testament prophecies make any sense if they are applied to Jesus and I spend a lot of time addressing them here: NT Fulfillment of OT Prophecies and here: Slivers of a Prophecy: The Messianic Chart REVEALED!.